“I don’t want to talk to you.”
The words where cold… emotionless… and so much of a routine now that it didn’t even phase her. The line went dead and I placed the phone in my lap. Wiped the all too familiar tear from my cheek and kept driving.
I remember the first time she said it. Her voice had cracked, the words straining to come from her lips.
But They Did.
Now the voice that at one time couldn’t wait to talk to mine… No longer wanted the conversation.
You’ll never know hurt until the one thing in this world that you couldn’t love more, has been manipulated and programmed to not love you back.
Being a father is an incredible responsibility, and I know not one that doesn’t enjoy the detail whole heartily. It’s a roller coaster of emotions on a daily basis, but at the end of the day…when you lay your head down to sleep, you wouldn’t trade the job for anything else.
Its hard wired into our DNA. Even if you could never see yourself in those shoes. Once that child is placed in your arms, something comes forth from deep within your psyche, something you never knew you had. As time progresses and you learn from your mistakes you find that no matter how much you thought you would be a bad father, you come to realize that your far from such.
You love that child… Every moment of every day and you don’t stop. No matter what they say, no matter what they do… You love them.
Even when your told your not a good father… You love them.
Even when they are told your not a good father… You love them.
In the face of adversity, manipulation, alienation and fabrication you hold your head high and continue to do what you now know is true.
So how do you be a good father, even when you are told you are not?
You ignore the voices that don’t matter and you love them. You love them… and you never stop.
