People with antisocial personality disorder are usually called sociopaths. Living with a loved one who has this disorder and being in a relationship with them can be extremely challenging.
Most of the habits and behavior patterns of sociopaths are harmful as well as toxic for people living around them. As they lack empathy and rarely get concerned for people around them, it can feel lonely as well as disappointing to be with them.
Some of the most unhealthy and harmful habits of a sociopath include:
Consistently lying to people and using people’s emotions to manipulate them.
Doing things that can raise safety concerns for themselves as well as other people
Engaging in impulsive behavior
Being irresponsible; being violent to frighten people
Pretending to be compassionate to people to gain something from them.
People who have ASPD usually have a history of poor and unhealthy relationships with family, friends, and their romantic partners.
If you have someone close to you who has this disorder, then most likely you have a difficult relationship with them. Their lack of concern, irresponsibility, and manipulative behavior must be very hard to deal with.
When you live with someone who barely cares for other people, has abusive and manipulative behavior, and has no respect for social norms and laws, it can take a toll on your mental health.
You might love that person and care for them, but you may need to reconsider your relationship with them and have to be careful while dealing with them.
You might be taking your time to decide how to move forward with them, but there are a few things you can do to protect yourself from the constant challenges of being with them.
Here are some do’s and don’ts for someone who has a loved one who has ASPD or who is in a relationship with a sociopath.
DO NOT TAKE THEIR ACTIONS PERSONALLY.
Their actions and behavior might create problems for you and may disappoint you, but you don’t have to take them personally. Do not think the reason for their behavior is you; it is the disorder that makes them behave like that.
You have to understand and acknowledge the fact that they are dealing with a personality disorder, and even if they lack empathy, you have to keep some empathy for them.
BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU SAY IN FRONT OF THEM.
Sociopaths often show manipulative behaviour and try to deceive people, which is why you need to be careful about what you say to them and what you express in front of them.
They may use that information to manipulate you in the future, so be careful what you say in front of them and what you hide. Avoid conversations discussing your relationships, finances, or any other topic like your vulnerabilities.
SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES AND BE VOCAL ABOUT THEM.
They may violate your boundaries and disrespect you for their pleasure, and may not feel guilty about that. That is why you need to set clear and healthy boundaries with them.
You need to tell them that if they treat you with disrespect or violate your boundaries, then there will be consequences for that.
ALWAYS BE CAUTIOUS AND ALERT, AS THEY MAY BEHAVE VIOLENTLY SOMETIMES.
While it can be extremely exhausting and challenging to stay alert, you need to be cautious. People with ASPD sometimes get violent and abusive and may harm people physically in that process.
It is not mandatory that they will be violent, but there are some chances of that, so you need to be alert if you live with them.
ENCOURAGE THEM TO SEEK HELP AND LET THEM KNOW HOW SOME THINGS CAN BE IMPROVED.
People dealing with this disorder often do not take responsibility for their behaviour and do not accept that they have some behavioural or mental health issues.
But as someone who cares, you can still try to encourage them to seek help. You can tell them how seeking professional help can improve their well-being and your relationship with them.
FIND YOUR OWN SUPPORT NETWORK IF BEING WITH THEM HAS BEEN TOO OVERWHELMING FOR YOU.
It can be extremely exhausting to be with someone who has this disorder, as you may have to face many difficulties due to their impulsive and unpredictable behavior. That is why you need to find your own support network where people can make you feel seen, heard, and understood.
LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP IF THEY ARE NOT OPEN TO SEEKING HELP AND THEIR BEHAVIOUR IS STILL UNHEALTHY, TOXIC, AND ABUSIVE.
If you are in a relationship with a sociopath and you have tried your best to encourage them to ask for help or to improve themselves for your relationship and there has been no change then you need to leave.
Remember, you don’t have to sacrifice your mental well-being due to their toxic or abusive behaviour. You can choose to leave.
If someone close to you has ASPD and they are aware of their condition and want to improve, then do help them with the kind of support they need.
If they do not want to seek help or do not want to improve, and it has been emotionally draining for you to be with them, then limit your interaction with them and focus on your well-being.
You need to keep this in mind: you can’t fix them if they do not wish to get better.
