You must also assume that all men are not attracted to you and you’ll never find a mutual attraction. Ever. Remove all hope from your life. You don’t want to get too excited about matching with anyone on a dating website, they probably had a twitchy thumb moment and swiped right by mistake.
Judge yourself for every small mistake you make, even when you put the wrong bins out on rubbish day. While you’re at it, focus on what’s wrong with your partner too, and tell him about it.
Doubt yourself. Make sure to water that small seed of self-doubt every day until it’s such a huge weed you can barely see your self-esteem through it. You probably misunderstood when your colleague complimented your outfit at the Christmas party. He was probably speaking to the tall girl behind you.
Worry about everything until it consumes you. Make a list so you can read it before bed and stay awake thinking about them all. Tell the new guy you’re dating all about your worries, including that weird thing happening with your toe.
Complain about everything that doesn’t go your way. And if things do go your way, find something else to complain about. Join in with a co-worker who’s complaining about her boss. Make sure to share all this with your partner over a romantic glass of wine.
Be in control of everything. Make sure your partner knows this as well — it’s your way or the highway! Schedule every minute of your mini-break to Paris with your new boyfriend. How else will you get to see the Moulin Rouge?!
Be absolutely perfect in all areas of your life. Also — don’t expect anything less from the guys you date. Once you’ve set a good example to your potential date, continue to up your game until he can read your mind.
